I'm doing my bit, only concerned with myself. My addiction in my personal relationships has become, "What have YOU done for ME, lately." My whole purpose now is satisfying my WANTS and desires. My temper is shorter these days, and I'm smiling less. I'm noticing the "flashing yellow" lights in people's eyes that I work with and interact with. And God is trying to get me to realize what is happening through people and situations that are seemingly starting to swirl around me. I need to stop! I have relapsed mentally, and that is what happens to us in recovery way before we have picked up that first drink or drug. It's called "dry drunkeness."
Something is wrong, and I need to check myself, before I wreck myself. I thank God that I'm able to stop myself today, before I carelessly move on wondering what everyone else problem was. Today by the grace of God and the Fellowship of NA and AA, I can recognize my need for assistance. I won't foolishly continue on this path thinking that I have all the answers and that "I'm running this show." I am going to excercise my humility and ask for help and listen... I am taking the cotton out of my ears and putting it in my mouth, and I'm going to take some suggestions from my sponsor and my brothers in recovery.
I understand today that the root to my addictions is self-centeredness, and so long as I'm worried about what I want; I will stay sick. So I'm telling myself, Just for today, I'm going to work my program of recovery. I'm going to focus on what's most important in my Life and I will trust someone in recovery who wants to help me in my journey.
Thank You,
Happy Holidays Everyone,
Marshall Keith
